1. A horse walks into a bar. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can’t make him drink.

2. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30.

3. A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?”

4. I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.

5. A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.